


Burning Gasoline

by theangelanddean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Jealousy, M/M, Miscommunication, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-26
Updated: 2017-09-26
Packaged: 2019-01-05 16:24:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12193455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theangelanddean/pseuds/theangelanddean
Summary: When Castiel catches Dean and Benny making out in the war room, he feels a burning in his chest leading to him avoiding them as much as he could.





	Burning Gasoline

It had been a few months since Castiel had fallen. Now, graceless and wingless, he’s completely vulnerable to the world. Sam and Dean were kind enough to let him stay with them. Every time he’d tried to thank the Winchesters, Dean would scoff and tell him he’s part of the family. Like a brother to them. Castiel guesses he should be glad. But something bothered him. Every instance he hears the word ‘brother’ from Dean’s mouth to describe him, he feels a painful push against his chest. He wanted to ask Dean about this feeling; why did his chest hurt? 

Then one day, an old friend came back. Dean was ecstatic and the pain in Castiel’s chest burned. It burned when the old friend sat next to Dean during breakfast. He used to sit there. It burned when the old friend made Dean laugh. He used to make Dean laugh. It burned again today. When they were sitting in the war room, talking to Sam and Eileen on the webcam about the case they were on. He noticed the way Dean had his hand behind the chair where Benny sat. He noticed the way his fingers would secretly touch Benny’s shoulder. The burning inside of him made him angry. Angry with Dean, angry with Benny, and angry with himself. 

Taking a deep breath, Castiel closes the book on fairy lore after Benny answers the question Sam had. Proving to him that now he’s here, Castiel is utterly useless. At least he was of some use without his wings before Benny got here. He stands up without hesitation and mumbles something about going to the bathroom before striding out of the room. When he gets to hallway, Castiel leans against the wall muttering to himself in Enochian. _Get a grip, Castiel. Being angry will just get yourself kicked out._

Once the pain in his chest dissipates, Castiel convinces himself to go back to the war room. He freezes at the doorway. The break he took to calm down goes in vain as the scorching pain is back in his chest and making its way up to his head. He watches the way Dean’s hands are flayed on Benny’s back as their lips sloppily play with each other. Benny has Dean up on the table, grinding against him as he hikes up Dean’s leg to wrap them around his waist. 

There was only a two options for Castiel. Either make his presence known or leave. Because he couldn’t take the sight anymore, Castiel retreats back to the hallway. The pain lodged in his throat as he feels tears in his eyes. He walks faster, his head pounding as the image of Benny and Dean together flashes against his eyes. Once he closes the door of his bedroom, he runs to his bed, unceremoniously throwing himself onto the bed. 

Castiel doesn’t blame either of them. Dean is selfless, courageous, kind, sacrificial, beautiful, righteous… and Benny, only knowing him for a while, shares many of the same traits. But he wants Dean. Maybe he should have mucked up the courage to admit his feelings. Now it was too late. Regret and jealousy swarm his mind before he falls asleep face down on his pillow.

When he wakes up, Castiel glances at the wall clock. The hands point at the 9 and the 6. He missed dinner. Did Dean even notice? He didn’t come around to wake him up. Shaking his head, Castiel gets up as he yawns loudly. His stomach growls and his fingers grip at the old t-shirt he’s wearing. The t-shirt Dean gave him to wear the first time he landed on the bunker’s doorstep as a human. Quickly removing it, Castiel shoves it in the far corner of his sock drawer. Grabbing a new shirt, one he picked out himself, he replaces the shirt hoping it’d also replaces the feeling in his chest. 

As Castiel is off to his own personal war, he holds his head up high and joins the other two in the library. They’re sitting together on the couch, only an inch between each other. Dean has a wide smile as he converses with Benny in hushed voices. Clearing his throat, Castiel makes himself visible in the room. His heart hurts even more as he watches the smile on Dean’s face dim as he pushes himself slightly away from Benny. 

“Hey, brother.” Benny acknowledges, “I came by to get you for dinner but you were passed out.” 

It takes everything in Castiel to stop himself to snap at Benny. He’s not his brother. His eyes fall on Dean, as he rest of Benny’s words come rushing to him. Benny came to get him, not Dean. Gulping, Castiel immediately looks away from the new couple. 

“There’s a bowl for you in the kitchen, Cas.” Dean states. “And Sam is coming back tomorrow morning. They caught the fairy.” 

Castiel nods before shuffling off to the kitchen. He notices the bowl of red rice on the table. Picking it up he places it in the microwave to warm up. As he watches the numbers count down, Castiel reminds himself that he shouldn’t be angry. Dean deserves to be happy and if Benny can provide that, who is he to get in between? Once the microwave beeps, Castiel grabs a metal spoon and the bowl of rice and slams it down on the dinner table before shoving his spoon into the food. When his mouth wraps around the rice, Castiel almost forgets about the jealousy and the heartbreak. The flavors coat his tongue and he bites back a moan. No offence to Dean’s pervious cooking but this was the best dish he’s ever had. 

Taking another bite, Castiel groans with his eyes closed, “Oh my lord.” 

A deep laugh startles him. Benny has his hands crossed against wide chest, leaning against the doorway. 

“I’m glad you liked the jambalaya.” He says with his smooth voice. “Wasn’t sure it would be to your liking.” 

Castiel’s grip on his spoon tightens and relaxes before he replies, “It’s very good. Thank you, Benny.” 

He watches Benny walk around the kitchen grabbing two bottles of beer from the fridge before raising his eyebrows at Castiel, as if asking him if he wanted one. He shakes his head, declining the offer. 

“Suit yourself.” Benny walks past him, pausing to take a look at the bowl of rice. “Dean didn’t leave you any of the chicken, did he?” 

“The chicken?” Castiel questions, using his spoon the move the rice around. 

“I’m going to have to make some more next time so you can taste some.” Benny shakes his head. “It makes the rice better.” 

“It’s okay. I like it anyway.” 

Benny playfully slaps Castiel’s back before walking out, leaving him alone with his food. He stares at his bowl, not wanting to eat anymore of it. But, now that he’s human, he has to. Food is essential. Taking another bite, the spices he tasted before now just come up bland. Just like how he feels about himself at the moment. Quickly finishing, Castiel doesn’t even bother to put the utensils in the kitchen sink and goes back to his room. Ignoring the loud grunts coming from Dean’s room as he passes it. 

 

When Sam comes back the following day, Castiel keeps himself distant. He didn’t show up for breakfast nor did he eat lunch with everyone. The only time he stayed in the room with the rest of them was Sam giving the run-down of what happened at the hunt. Dean noticed he was staying away. He wanted to tell him how jealous he feels and how he’s sorry he feels this way because it’s completely irrational but, instead, he just made a last-minute excuse. 

Now he sat in his room, yet again, reading—well trying to read a random book he picked up as he backed out from explaining why he was standoffish around the others to Dean. He worries at his bottom lip as he glances at the closed door across him. Thinking, maybe he’s being completely unreasonable about this. All Castiel wants is for Dean to be happy and him succumbing to his toxic emotions possibly does the opposite of that. 

Shaking his head, he goes back to trying to read the words in front of him. Instead he has to re-read the first sentence over and over again. Abandoning the book, Castiel takes a peak at the time. It was pretty late and he didn’t join them for dinner again and he was pretty hungry. Sneaking out his room, Castiel makes sure to shut his ears while walking past Dean’s room. He knows he won’t be able to stand to hear Benny and him together again. Once he gets to kitchen, he notices a dish on the table with a sticky note next to it. 

_Cas- Even you say nothing is bothering you right now, I know you’re lying. I don’t know exactly what I did but I’m sorry. Please talk to me… - Dean_

Castiel sits down, staring at the homemade cheeseburger. A tear slips down his cheek. Because of what he felt, Dean and his friendship was getting the blow. Even if he lost a possibility to be with him that doesn’t mean he needs to lose a friend. Tenderly picking up the burger, he takes a bite and smiles around the flavors. Dean knows exactly how he likes his burgers. 

“You gonna talk to Dean?” A gruff voice asks from the door—Benny. 

“I—”Castiel gets cut off. 

“I’m not blind, Angel.” Benny sits down in front of him, his arms crossed and his eyes hard. “I know you’ve got feelings for Dean.” 

“But he likes you and you like him.” Castiel whispers, staring at the table. 

“And he likes you, too.” Castiel’s head snaps up to meet Benny’s eyes at his words. “And, you’re easy on the eyes from my point of view.” 

“I don’t understand.” 

Benny smirks at him, standing up and extending his arm to him. He looks at the rough, large hand before slipping his lean one into it. Pulling Castiel up, Benny leads him to Dean’s room where he pushed him into before closing the door behind them. Dean was sitting on his bed with headphones on and his laptop open. When he looks up at Castiel, they stare at each other for a while before Dean rips the headphones off his head and tosses them next to him. 

“Cas, I’m so—” 

“Dean, I’m— “ 

Benny laughs and shakes his head at both of them, “I don’t know how Sam survives with the both of you.” 

“Hey!” They both turn to Benny, offended. 

“You’ve got to admit that both of you are thick headed to see that you both fell in love with each other years ago.” He raises his eyebrow, “Or at least too scared to admit it to each other.” 

Castiel looks down at his bare feet, not wanting to admit Benny was right. 

“Cas, do you…” Dean fades out, walking towards him. Castiel nods. “Fuck.”

“When did you—“ 

“When I saw you and Benny kissing…” Castiel murmurs. “I was too late.” 

A finger slides under his chin, tilting it up to make him look at Dean’s face. It’s not disgusted or disappointed. Dean looks happy. His hand moves to cup his cheek, rubbing his thumb against his stubble. If Castiel wasn’t confused before his, he’s now hundred percent sure he’s confused. If Benny and Dean were together, why would he look at him like he’s been in love with him for years. 

“I love you, Cas.” Dean whispers. 

Castiel glances towards Benny who is looking at their interaction with a neurtral expression, “But Benny.” 

“I love him, too.” Dean sighs, “I get it if that can’t work with you.” 

“We’d share you?” Castiel asks, still at loss with this whole situation. 

“We’d share each other.” Benny interrupts. He walks up to them and places a kiss on Dean’s cheek before looking into Castiel’s eyes, asking for permission. Nodding, Castiel watches Benny lean down to him and place a kiss against his own cheek. 

Castiel blushes underneath Benny’s eyes before looking back at Dean who has a faint smile on his lips. The burning feeling in his chest disappears and is replaces with a welcoming heat. Licking his lips, Castiel steps closer to Dean, keeping his eyes on his plump lips. He tilts his head, closing his eyes as he feels the softness touch his own lips. He feels a hand push closer to Dean and a nose nudging at the side of his face. Turning, Benny catches his lips, sweeping into his mouth. 

Dean on the other hand groans, “Fuck, that’s hot.” 

Benny chuckles, moving back and for the first time in the past few days Castiel feels light headed.

**Author's Note:**

> [Tumblr](http://heavenlycas.co.vu/)


End file.
